Warning: Rants likely for at least 5 paragraphs

Warning: Rants likely for at least 5 paragraphs

OK, not rants proper just yet, except to say this: WHEN YOU GO TO THE THEATRE, LISTEN TO THE SODDING USHER. tHEY ARFE TELLING YOU THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW, LIKE WHERE YOUR SEAT IS. LISTEN AND THEN YOU WON'T MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF GOING UPSTAIRS WHEN YOU WERE EXPRESSLY TOLD THAT YOUR SEAT, THE BAR AND THE TOILETS ARE ALL DOWNSTAIRS! WHY IS THAT SO BLOODY DIFFICULT?
Feels good to get that off my chest.

Next, here's transcripts of my emails to my parents who are on holiday and having difficulty reading them. Sorry, but any and all personal stuff has been edited out...

Mum & Dad,
Glad to hear you've touched down ok in Melbourne. I hope you get over the jet-lag soon enough, or at least that you take my advice: Don't let Dappa talk you into watching the Godfather until you have gotten over it.Had my first session of acupuncture today. Slightly strange feeling at first as the doctor put in the needles, but after the initial discomfort (not pain, just feeling a bit weird with needles sticking all over) it turned out to be extremely relaxing. I've been given some (frighteningly expensive) herbal teas to take over the next fortnight. They made no bones about saying that they taste awful, but I'll let you know whether they were exaggerating.

Rehearsals for Nero are going well so far. We're confident that we'll finish the blocking by the end of this week, leaving us with three weeks to work on the quality. My character, Amour, is fantastic: Theatrical to the point of the grotesque. It's going to be a challenge to pull it off the way it needs to be, but that, after all, is half the fun. The rest of the cast are Andy (Nero), Geir (Seneca), Nika (Venus) and a new guy called Marcus (Antony Flavius). Obviously the chemistry between Andy, Geir, Nika and me is great, and I think Marcus will be good as well, once I get to know him a bit.

We've had a bit if a weekend at work. EXCERPT DELETED.

I thinks that's all the news that's fit to print for the time being. Looking forward to seeing Cerys this weekend.Have a great time in Aus, and keep us up to date about what you're doing.
Lots of love,Corinxxx
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Hello!
Hope everyone's ok down under; haven't heard from either of you for a while, so I just wanted to check you haven't succumbed to the ravages of any of Australia's oh-so deadly terrors.

Things are going alright up here. Rehearsals are going ok. I've got my costume now, and we've started doing full runs with a week and a half to go before opening. I've been doing a lot of stage door shifts which have enabled me to et through various series of dvds. I nearly went to see V for Vendetta (which Mum probably remembers me enthusing about) but read some dire reviews leaving me conflicted: Should I go to see it and risk disappointment or save my £6.50 and risk missing out on a good movie? I needed a sign, and it was supplied when Jonothan Ross came to see the Woman in Black. I asked his opinion and he strongly urged me not to see it. So I haven't.

Sylvester McCoy will be in a show at the Trafalger Studios in May, so I'll be able to see that one for free. Should be good. On a related subject I was browsing through Amazon and looked at Doctor Who - Curse of Fenric. One of the special features I thought would appeal to Dad's sense of humour. It contains a documentary about BBC monster effects called 'Claws and Effect'.

Anyway, do get back to me if you're still alive. I hope you are or these jokes are going to seem rather tasteless with hindsight.
Lots of love,Corinxxx

And that's all the email I had the foresight to keep copies of.
Until next time