She had hair the colour of phoenix fire

I've come up with a fairly loose editorial policy, as it seems to be the done thing. I've decided that my posts will come about once every two weeks (just because that seems to be how often I get the time to do more than comment on other people's). Also, I'll be going with a point of controversy and/or list of some sort, alternating with an update on the life of this particular big old geek.

So for this fortnight, I have a question. Billy and I were discussing this earlier and would like to ask if anyone can clarify something for us. I don't know, possibly one of you secretly works for a shampoo company. Anyway, you must all have seen the adverts for various cosmetic products touting the idea that if you use their product your hair will be 30% shinier.

OK. If that's the case, then shininess is quantifiable. What, then, is 100% shiny? Is it when looking at your hair damages your retina, as when you look at the sun? And if your hair has 0% shine, does it suck the light from the universe like a black hole growing from your head? Answers on a postcard, please.

By the way, I'd just like to take this opportunity to express my relief that Wales were able to win at least one game in the Six Nations this year. And if you're going to win only one Six Nations match, it's obviously best for that to the the England game.

-Gangs of tough, sinewy youths roam the countryside terrifying people with their close-harmony singing.

Going around and coming around

I was at the Phoenix Artists' Club last night (or, as everyone except the manager calls it, Shuttleworths) and noticed a ten pond note on the floor by the bar. I picked it up and asked the customers next to me and my friend whether it was theirs. They said no, so after a moment of consideration - do I keep the tenner, given my relative poverty - I handed it to the barman, feeling generally good about my moral health. And in a piece of instant karma, the barman gave me the two pints on the house.

So everyone wins. Except whoever lost the tenner in the first place...